Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
