drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
