We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
