stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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