i don't like sucking hair
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
