I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
