Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
