She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
