So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
