Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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