i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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