there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
