She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
