eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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