I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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