i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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