It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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