Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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