dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
