so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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