So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
