that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
