he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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