i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
