I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
