Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
