I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
