Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
