and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
