Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize