i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
