I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
