did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
