everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
