her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
