The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize