I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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