Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We talked him into tasing himself.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Will exercising make me less horny?
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