I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
