how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
