you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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