You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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