I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize