Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
