How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
