I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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