Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
