brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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