it hurts more in the daytime
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
