even my farts smell like vagina
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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