Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
