it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
