1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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