Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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