Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
