We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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