is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize