I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
