We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
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