So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
