I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
