We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
