its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
