watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
