There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
