Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
