Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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