I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
