Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
