Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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