even my farts smell like vagina
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
