New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My vagina is officially offended.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
