you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
