While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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