Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
