youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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